I’ve decided that part of living life as an Adventure is doing something new, or something you don’t want to do, every day. Especially if it’s something that scares you. So, this morning, I finally took the plunge and did something I’ve been putting off for about 3 years, due to fear.
I opened a trading account with an online brokerage. And I funded it. (The fear is still making me a little nauseous right now, and I think I’m still in shock!)
A little history: When I started my blog, I was dabbling at learning about online options trading. I’ve been ghosting the classroom site for YEARS! I’ve been virtual trading (with fake money) on and off, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. Mostly not – I really didn’t take it seriously since it wasn’t real money.
The ironic thing is, I’d started taking classes in the first place because I was afraid of what would happen if I lost my job or became unable to work. I didn’t trust the government to take care of me. But guess what?
The worst thing I could think of (in my privileged Canadian life) already happened. I could no longer continue working. And I still didn’t open an account. I was too busy. (Yeah, busy feeling sorry for myself!) I didn’t want the responsibility. I didn’t want to take anything else on. And then I moved. And then I moved again. And then I moved again within the town I moved to. But you know what? I got tired of the excuses! I came to realize that the only reason I hadn’t jumped in was FEAR. What if…? What if I haven’t learned enough yet? What if I don’t remember how to apply the principles? What if my brain discombobulates (again) and I can’t focus enough to do it? What if I’m too tired to concentrate? All these reasonable things covering up the real fear: What if I’m no good at it? WHAT IF I FAIL???
Today I found my answer in another question: What if, in a year from now, I look back and STILL haven’t even tried? What would THAT do to my self esteem, to my confidence, to my current idea of self-worth and ability? That’s where most of my fear comes from – not recognizing my current self in the memory of my abilities. I don’t know what I can or can’t do.
So what if I fail? Then I fail – but I don’t think I will. The other day on Twitter somebody posted one of my favorite quotes, by Thomas Edison: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” So I posted back “Dear Mr. Edison: I haven’t found 10,000 ways that won’t work yet, but I’m working on it!” I thought I was being tongue-in-cheek, but I was actually telling the total truth!
We can only succeed if we give ourselves the chance to fail.
That was a real “A-ha!” moment for me. Sounds so simple, right? But it totally shook my world.
Then I decided it would be a fantastic idea to keep track of my “ways that don’t work” as if they were successes, with a list I’m calling The Edison Tally! I mean, in the end, the only real failure is not trying. How can you succeed if you don’t even try?
So I’ve created another page on this blog, called THE EDISON TALLY.
It’s a list of “lessons learned” and I’m hoping to add to it every day, since I’m committed to doing something new every day, and it won’t all work perfectly right away.
I’m hoping you, my lovely friends and readers, will help me add to it too! Just leave a comment at the bottom of this post, or on the Tally page itself, and I’ll copy it in. It’ll take me a long time to get to 10,000 “ways that don’t work” without you!