Happy Pete – The Name Says It All!

Seriously! I’m really happy that I found another amazing example of a person loving their life, living an awesome life, despite dealing with MS (or any other medical condition.)

I’m continually adding to my list of “personal heroes”!!!

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The Edison Tally – Do Something New Every Day, Even If you Fail

I’ve decided that part of living life as an Adventure is doing something new, or something you don’t want to do, every day. Especially if it’s something that scares you. So, this morning, I finally took the plunge and did something I’ve been putting off for about 3 years, due to fear.

I opened a trading account with an online brokerage. And I funded it. (The fear is still making me a little nauseous right now, and I think I’m still in shock!)

A little history: When I started my blog, I was dabbling at learning about online options trading. I’ve been ghosting the classroom site for YEARS! I’ve been virtual trading (with fake money) on and off, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. Mostly not – I really didn’t take it seriously since it wasn’t real money.

The ironic thing is, I’d started taking classes in the first place because I was afraid of what would happen if I lost my job or became unable to work. I didn’t trust the government to take care of me. But guess what?

IT HAPPENED!

The worst thing I could think of (in my privileged Canadian life) already happened. I could no longer continue working. And I still didn’t open an account. I was too busy. (Yeah, busy feeling sorry for myself!) I didn’t want the responsibility. I didn’t want to take anything else on. And then I moved. And then I moved again. And then I moved again within the town I moved to. But you know what? I got tired of the excuses! I came to realize that the only reason I hadn’t jumped in was FEAR. What if…? What if I haven’t learned enough yet? What if I don’t remember how to apply the principles? What if my brain discombobulates (again) and I can’t focus enough to do it? What if I’m too tired to concentrate? All these reasonable things covering up the real fear: What if I’m no good at it? WHAT IF I FAIL???

Today I found my answer in another question: What if, in a year from now, I look back and STILL haven’t even tried? What would THAT do to my self esteem, to my confidence, to my current idea of self-worth and ability? That’s where most of my fear comes from – not recognizing my current self in the memory of my abilities. I don’t know what I can or can’t do.

So what if I fail? Then I fail – but I don’t think I will. The other day on Twitter somebody posted one of my favorite quotes, by Thomas Edison: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” So I posted back “Dear Mr. Edison: I haven’t found 10,000 ways that won’t work yet, but I’m working on it!” I thought I was being tongue-in-cheek, but I was actually telling the total truth!

We can only succeed if we give ourselves the chance to fail.

Holy Crap!

That was a real “A-ha!” moment for me. Sounds so simple, right? But it totally shook my world.

Then I decided it would be a fantastic idea to keep track of my “ways that don’t work” as if they were successes, with a list I’m calling The Edison Tally! I mean, in the end, the only real failure is not trying. How can you succeed if you don’t even try?

So I’ve created another page on this blog, called THE EDISON TALLY.

It’s a list of “lessons learned” and I’m hoping to add to it every day, since I’m committed to doing something new every day, and it won’t all work perfectly right away.

I’m hoping you, my lovely friends and readers, will help me add to it too! Just leave a comment at the bottom of this post, or on the Tally page itself, and I’ll copy it in. It’ll take me a long time to get to 10,000 “ways that don’t work” without you!

Who Gave My Brain the Laser Pointer?

Do you ever feel like your brain is somehow smarter than you? Like it’s been toying with you, the way you play with a cat using a laser pointer? The cat chases that red dot wherever you point it, but can never chase it down.

Yesterday, that red dot was my train of thought. I could see it, I could tell it was going somewhere… but I couldn’t chase it down. I’d start with a thought, actually talking out loud to my Dad (trying to figure out how to build a wall with a big window through it that can still support a range hood – see the pictures on my Feb 23 blog post.) Then the thought would just… take off on it’s own, and trying to hold onto it long enough to finish a sentence was like trying to catch the wind. And the worst thing was that, on some level, I could see my self being stupid. Unable to communicate.

I used to be such a brainiac! As an architectural drafter, my whole job was about communication. I was the link between the architects (who had all the ideas) and the construction guys who actually put it together. That’s what I DID and I was really good at it. Now it’s easier to pull nails and screw 2x4s together than it is to visualize the result of my efforts. So frustrating, especially since my physical energy doesn’t last all that long either!

So I keep reminding myself “this too shall pass, it’ll get better and/or I’ll learn a cool work-around.” Either way, I’ll learn to deal with it. It’s just one more lesson in a very long list of lessons learned. I heard somewhere that any day you’re not learning you’re dying, so in that case I’m going to live FOREVER!!!

Renovation “Before” Pictures!

Hello! I promised to show you some pictures of the ongoing renovation, so here’s where we’re starting from. These are all “BEFORE” pictures, and if all goes well, I’ll eventually have some “AFTER” images for you too! As you can see, there’s a lot to be done, but not a lot of HARD stuff, so we can whittle away at it an hour or two a day. My Dad just retired so he doesn’t want to do much more than that either!

Entry Closet

Entry Closet

This closet was probably useful when it was next to the front door, but now there’s a boot-room addition and the closet is just blocking the light.

Disco Kitchen!

Disco Kitchen!

So there was this really, really odd mirrored pillar that the fridge was recessed into. It’s gotta go!

Kitchen Cupboards

Kitchen Cupboards

This is my pet project. I want to punch a big hole through the wall to let the light through from the kitchen to the living room. This will be interesting…

Master Bedroom Carpet

Master Bedroom Carpet

40 year old carpet in the master bedroom. Definately original, since we had to CUT it away from the wall. The walls were constructed after the carpet was laid down.

Snow! More than we've had at once in 15 years!

Snow! More than we’ve had at once in 15 years!

Here’s what it’s like outside right now. Believe it or not, that’s a five foot tall fence with three feet of snow against it.

Migrations!

Hello! I’ve been completely out of the loop for a while, and for that I apologize. I’ve moved (not once but TWICE, 2400 kilometers and into a new province!) I’ve gone on Long Term Disability, and right now I’m in the process of migrating my blog to a new site. Hopefully I won’t lose any information, but since I have to cut-and-paste everything into the new blog I’m just going to apologize now for missing stuff. Eventually I’ll redirect http://www.unhasty.com to point here, but until that time I’m just … well, cutting-and-pasting the old stuff into the new blog. It’s giving me a great opportunity to see the information I posted here ages ago, and haven’t looked at in a while. It’s good stuff! In the meantime, I’ll turn off the “publish to Facebook and Twitter” so you won’t be inundated with new notifications for old information. Sorry about that.

A Typical Day with MS, and Why I Like Having Multiple Sclerosis

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So it probably sounds strange, to hear me say “I like having MS” but just watch the video. It’s more correct to say I can appreciate certain things about living with MS. I think we create a lot of our experience by the way we choose to look at things, at situations and circumstances. I think we have control over how we look at things, even if we may not control those things themselves. I know my attitude helps me get through things that used to be very, very difficult for me to face. I just needed to look at things differently.

What about you? Do you notice a difference in your energy levels when you’re in a great mood versus when you’re in a crappy one? I don’t mean a “good day” versus a “bad day” physically. I know I can have exactly the same symptomology two different days, the first one can be h*ll to get through and the second one easier just because I’m in a bad or good mood over something else.